thursday thoughts
i've started and stopped this post about 10 times now
what is it that i am wanting to say?
i am entirely unsure
i want to think grand thoughts
thoughts of inclusiveness
thoughts of bigness
thoughts of "in" instead of "out"
thoughts of "give" instead of "take"
thoughts of "yes" instead of "no"
thoughts that do not have regard for boxes
thoughts that soar
thoughts that approach an indescribable, uncontainable
poetic thoughts
thoughts that are free, limitless, boundless
and so on
yet
i am bound
i am limited by my me
contemplating the words of jesus
feels to me like trying to see a magic eye puzzle
i can think my way out of it - never see it
but once i get inside i'm all about exploring the space
somewhat hypnotized
and realizing that my "understanding" is fleeting
but i can remember what it is like -
re-imagine it
ok
enough for now
what are you smoking, greggo?
nothing
good night
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
something for monday nitefrom the bible, book of matthew, chapter 7
"don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults-unless, of course, you want the same treatment.that critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.it's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's faceand be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own."
"do you have the nerve to say,'let me wash your face for you,'when your own face is distorted by contempt?it's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again,playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part."
"wipe that ugly sneer off your own faceand you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."
jesus slays me with this crazy kind of talkwas he serious about this kind of thing?why do you suppose he said things like this, and what does it mean...for you?
in order to be helpful in this conversation, may i suggest that your response include more "i's" than "them?"you get the picture
"don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults-unless, of course, you want the same treatment.that critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.it's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's faceand be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own."
"do you have the nerve to say,'let me wash your face for you,'when your own face is distorted by contempt?it's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again,playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part."
"wipe that ugly sneer off your own faceand you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."
jesus slays me with this crazy kind of talkwas he serious about this kind of thing?why do you suppose he said things like this, and what does it mean...for you?
in order to be helpful in this conversation, may i suggest that your response include more "i's" than "them?"you get the picture
Sunday, November 05, 2006
saturday
a long talk with a close friend
today
i reconnected with a mentor
i was sitting on the porch reading
and all of the sudden larry's name came to mind
actually i've thought of him thousands of times
over the last 10 years - i think i last saw him in 1996
that last visit was painful and somewhat fearful
as he had been experiencing great difficulties
i don't think that either of us meant to abandon the other
i think life happened -
i didn't realize he had needed to go unlisted for a while
i was worried when i couldn't connect
and i allowed my worry to paralyze me
i told him today that i'd often thought of trying to call
fearing that i'd discover something awful had happened
he was sorry for not tracking me down as well
today i responded to that call of the Spirit in my spirit
and i was so pleased when i heard his voice say, "hello?"
"larry?"
"yes?"
"it's greg - is this the larry i think it is?"
"is this the greg that is married to dixie?"
and then we talked for a little over three hours
"i have so many things to share with you, greg.
but i've been saving them until we can share in person
remind me when i see you to tell you about..."
(he listed 6 or 7 things)
we made a date to get together next weekend
he only lives about an hour away
but it crosses a state line, so it seems like a big hour
i could tell you things about this amazing man
that you would not believe
he is the strongest and toughest man that i have ever met
he has survived things that are unbelievable
he built his house - literally - and nearly died twice trying
he is also one of the most tenderhearted and kind men i've ever known
he has plenty of flaws that only serve to make me seem more believable
he gave up lots of his time when we first met to care for me spiritually
and to teach me (and dixie) about the reality of God's love and grace
at a time when we so needed all of that special attention and care
he affirmed me and prayed blessing after blessing over me
he taught me that tough and deeply caring work well together
our conversation today resumed as if no time had passed
i'm so thankful to God for larry and for the influence he's had in my life
and i thank you God for this opportunity now to see him again
a long talk with a close friend
today
i reconnected with a mentor
i was sitting on the porch reading
and all of the sudden larry's name came to mind
actually i've thought of him thousands of times
over the last 10 years - i think i last saw him in 1996
that last visit was painful and somewhat fearful
as he had been experiencing great difficulties
i don't think that either of us meant to abandon the other
i think life happened -
i didn't realize he had needed to go unlisted for a while
i was worried when i couldn't connect
and i allowed my worry to paralyze me
i told him today that i'd often thought of trying to call
fearing that i'd discover something awful had happened
he was sorry for not tracking me down as well
today i responded to that call of the Spirit in my spirit
and i was so pleased when i heard his voice say, "hello?"
"larry?"
"yes?"
"it's greg - is this the larry i think it is?"
"is this the greg that is married to dixie?"
and then we talked for a little over three hours
"i have so many things to share with you, greg.
but i've been saving them until we can share in person
remind me when i see you to tell you about..."
(he listed 6 or 7 things)
we made a date to get together next weekend
he only lives about an hour away
but it crosses a state line, so it seems like a big hour
i could tell you things about this amazing man
that you would not believe
he is the strongest and toughest man that i have ever met
he has survived things that are unbelievable
he built his house - literally - and nearly died twice trying
he is also one of the most tenderhearted and kind men i've ever known
he has plenty of flaws that only serve to make me seem more believable
he gave up lots of his time when we first met to care for me spiritually
and to teach me (and dixie) about the reality of God's love and grace
at a time when we so needed all of that special attention and care
he affirmed me and prayed blessing after blessing over me
he taught me that tough and deeply caring work well together
our conversation today resumed as if no time had passed
i'm so thankful to God for larry and for the influence he's had in my life
and i thank you God for this opportunity now to see him again
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