Friday, March 6, 2009

drug

I detest pharmaceutical advertising.

I think I am in the minority on this one, but let me tell you why I have grown to loathe it.

First off, I feel the same way about this as I do auto dealership advertising. If you wouldn't blow so much of your budget on advertising, you could charge less for your products. Of course where prescription drugs are concerned it's all about the insurance anyway, so who cares.

Now, on with the rant. The names of the prescription drugs are stupid. Seriously, someone sits around in a room somewhere and gets paid for making up new names. I think they are doing it around a Scrabble board. The names are ridiculous and made up. They have no meaning, except the meaning we assign them in our goofy culture.

The disclaimers on the commercials are a joke. I sometimes think I'd rather just stick with a weak bladder than have the list of more uncomfortable things that come with taking the pill. And that isn't even to mention the awkwardness of being forced to imagine the perils of a 4-plus hour erection.

Finally, there is something weird about advertising a product to me that I cannot access (legally) without relying on my doctor. These ads urge me to diagnose myself and tell my doctor what scrip to write. That is stupid. This is why healthcare reform is a huge challenge in this country. You are telling me to tell my doctor what pill I need rather than share the symptoms of whatever is bugging me and let him (the expert who knows me and knows medicine) decide upon a course of treatment. I've tried this, and guess what it doesn't work. I ask Dr. Mike for Vicodin every time I go to his office, and he always says no. Every. Time.

What is wrong with the old system of drug companies selling directly to the docs? I want my doctor to go to all the dinners and learn everything he can about the miracle of prescription drugs. That way, he'll have more options to consider when I visit him. I don't want to hear any more lists of bad things that will happen when I take a pill. And I don't want to learn new words. And I don't want to think about how frequently I have to urinate. And most of all, I don't want to watch that guy throw the football through the tire swing.

Stop.

Patrick. Lance. Can't you people do anything about this?

Over and out.